And just like clockwork: “What’s your New Year’s resolutions?” This question gets asked at the same time every damn year. I don’t even think people really care about other people’s resolutions, I think it’s a question people reluctantly feel like they have to ask. The question seems to get asked at the weirdest times too. Like, “You will never believe what happened to me this weekend! I almost got killed. By the way, what are your New Year’s resolutions?” I’m sorry, you have my blood pressure through the roof and now you want to switch subject and talk about my resolutions? How about you finish your story before I resolve to cut you out my life!
I used to love asking people what their resolutions were going to be and I loved when people asked me. I loved when people asked me because obviously the attention was all on me, but it was also so fun learning about how people wanted to improve themselves and their lives in the New Year (subtle sarcasm there. I usually sit in judgement when people talk about their goals). Until I slowly started to learn that what people were telling me and what I was telling people was all a crock of shit. “I want to lose thirty-five pounds, go horseback riding once a week, learn a new language and read four books a month.” Ok Becky*, you can hardly speak English, your first language, correctly so let’s try to master that first. Thanks.
If I sound like a total cynic towards resolutions, it’s because I am. When I got into meditation a few years ago, I completely changed my way of thinking. Through meditation, I learned to love and accept myself exactly the way I am. Why at the beginning of year do we feel like we need to start completely over? Why do we feel like we must change this and we must change that as if we were total assholes for the entire year prior? Why can’t we be more accepting of ourselves and be content exactly the way we are?
So maybe it’s not the concept of resolutions that I am a cynic about, but the usual resolutions that people choose to make. Do we all have areas in our lives that we can and would like to improve upon? Of course, that’s part of growing and evolving.
I think where people get it all wrong is that feeling they were scum of the earth for the past year and they need to change fifty different things about themselves. Personally, I think that’s why resolutions are broken after about a month. Unrealistic goals. Unattainable goals.
I like to take a different approach by reflecting on my life and how far I have come and grown in the past year. What things worked well for me? What things didn’t work and go from there. I find when I go the route of reflection; I am able to set more realistic and attainable goals in the upcoming year.
I challenge you to not be so hard on yourself moving forward. You are doing the best that you can do. Take the time to reflect on not only the bad, but also the good. I bet you will find that in most cases the good outweighed the bad. Instead of making New Year’s resolutions that you feel you are obligated to make (drop twenty pounds, join a basket weaving class, cut back on swearing, blah blah blah bullshit) set some goals that are actually going to work for you.
So what’s my answer to anyone that asks me: “What are your New Year’s resolutions, Sam?” “Shut it, Daniel*.” Only kidding, but not really. My answer is: “I am in a constant state of reflection. I am always growing, learning and evolving. I don’t make resolutions.”
What are your thoughts about making New Year’s resolutions? Do you like to make them or not really? If so, what are some resolutions that you make?
*A totally made up person. If you are a Becky or a Daniel, reading this, and know me personally I apologize if this made you upset. And by “apologize,” I mean stop being so vein and thinking this blog is about you.